Turn Right at the Robot

I have been confused a number of times while traveling, its only natural. Often my confusion revolves around the way things are done, scheduling or processes. It is easy to spot the differences between a supposed normal you know and the ones prescribed in the country where traveling. “What do you mean the bus schedule in Uganda is based on the ‘it leaves when it’s full’ premise? Or ‘why is it my responsibility to have adequate change while in an Argentine taxi?’

However, as far as directions go, I’m good and capable and can find my way. Yes, there are a number that may disagree, especially anyone that has taken a road trip with me in Japan before – and to a certain degree after – I got a navigation system. However, I’d argue Japanese car navis are great in graphics and shite in offering directions. For example, the country is spectacular in offering unnecessary signage for miles before an exit, yet utterly terrible at placing a sign anywhere near the relevant exit or destination. Massively confusing. If you have driven in Japan you will be empathetic.

 Nonetheless, I have a decent sense of direction and usually find my way. After all, I’ve gotten this far.

Anyway, two weeks ago in Cape Town I found myself standing at a cross walk scratching my head. I wouldn’t claim to being lost, but definitely confused. I was heading to a meeting and looking for the building. I was in the neighbourhood and knew it was extremely close, but couldn’t quite locate it, so I asked for directions.
‘Excuse me, do you know where the Newlands building is?’
‘Eay?’
‘The Newlands building. I am looking for it. Do you know where it is?’
‘Iz it eh. Yeeh mate, its close. Right over there. Walk straight up this here road two blocks and take a right at the Robot.”
‘Sorry the Robot?’
‘Yeeh. Two blocks and take a right.’
‘Cool. Two blocks, turn right. Thanks.’
I walked up two blocks and stopped to look for the Robot. Couldn’t find one, but took a right anyway and directly in front of me was the Newlands building. Success.

Yet, I was still curious where and what the Robot was. Following the meeting I met a buddy for a beer and asked him if he knew of any Robots downtown. He too looked confused, which initially made me feel better, but then his brow raised with condescending charity. He was looking at me like I was from the remedial class. Being Canadian, I am used to such looks and usually respond by jerseying such people and delivering a few dummy punches – mentally at least.

His brow still raised, he took a sip from his pint, lowered the glass and laughed. Now I really wanted to jersey him.
‘Sorry, did I miss something? What’s so funny,’ I respond with a light chuckle.
‘Mate, Robots are all over the city.’ He then started pointing around us. ‘There’s a robot and another one over there. Everywhere.’

It was now my turn to laugh. The guy was pointing to the traffic lights at the intersections.
‘HA! You’re joking, right? The stop lights! You call stop lights, Robots?!! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. That’s worse than the British calling training wheels ‘stabilizers.’’

Now, after my recent visit to South Africa, I can attest the country has a tremendous amount going for it and is well developed, but never will it reach any heights of technological innovation so long as they call the simple switch of a traffic signal a ‘Robot.’ Just imagine the names they would give to a vacuum cleaner or Honda’s ASIMO.